Thursday, February 11, 2010

Geez, Global Warming is Responsible for.....Everything!

Thanks to a UK citizen for keeping track of all the things Global Warming is claimed to be responsible for...


Acneagricultural land increaseAfghan poppies destroyedpoppies more potentAfrica devastated,  Africa in conflict, African aid threatenedAfrican summer frostaggressive weedsAir France crashair pressure changes,  airport malariaAgulhas currentAl Qaeda and Taliban Being Helpedallergy season longeralligators in the ThamesAlps meltingAmazon a desertAmerican dream end,  amphibians breeding earlier (or not),  anaphylactic reactions to bee stings,  ancient forests dramatically changedanimals head for the hills, animals shrinkAntarctic grass flourishesAntarctic ice grows,Antarctic ice shrinksAntarctic sea life at risk,   anxiety treatmentalgal bloomsarchaeological sites threatened, Arctic bogs meltArctic in bloom,Arctic ice freeArctic ice melt fasterArctic lakes disappear,  Arctic tundra lost, Arctic warming (not), asthmaAtlantic less saltyAtlantic more salty,  atmospheric circulation modifiedattack of the killer jellyfishavalanches reducedavalanches increased,  Baghdad snowBahrain under water,  bananas growbarbarisation, beer and bread prices to soarbeer better,  beer worsebeetle infestationbet for $10,000big melt faster, billion dollar research projectsbillion homelessbillions face riskbillions of deathsbird distributions changebird loss acceleratingbird strikesbird visitors dropbirds confusedbirds decline (Wales)birds driven northbirds face longer migrationsbirds return earlybirds shrinkbittern boom endsblackbirds stop singingblackbirds threatenedBlack Hawk down,  blood contaminatedblue mussels returnbluetonguebrain eating amoebaebrains shrinkbridge collapse (Minneapolis), Britain one big cityBritain SiberianBritish monsoon,  brothels strugglebrown Irelandbubonic plaguebudget increases,Buddhist temple threatened,  building collapsebuilding season extensionbushfires,   butterflies move northcarbon crimescamel deaths,  cancer deaths in England, cannibalism,  caterpillar biomass shift, cave paintings threatened,  childhood insomnia, Choleracircumcision in declinecirrus disappearancecivil unrestcloud increase,  coast beauty spots lostcockroach migration, cod go south,  coffee threatenedcoffee berry borercold climate creatures survivecold spells (Australia)cold wave (India)cold weather (world)computer modelsconferencesconflictconflict with Russiaconsumers foot the billcoral bleaching, coral fish suffercoral reefs dyingcoral reefs grow, coral reefs shrink , coral reefs twilight cost of trillions,cougar attackscrabgrass menace cradle of civilisation threatenedcreatures move uphill, crime increasecrocodile sex, crops devastatedcrumbling roads, buildings and sewage systemscurriculum change,  cyclones (Australia),   danger to kid's healthDarfurDartford Warbler plague,  deadly virus outbreaksdeath rate increase (US)deaths to reach 6 million, Dengue hemorrhagic feverdepressiondesert advance,  desert retreat,  destruction of the environment,  dig sites threatened,  disastersdiseases move northdog diseaseDolomites collapsedozen deadly diseases - or notdrought,   ducks and geese declinedust bowl in the corn belt,  earlier pollen season,  Earth axis tiltEarth biodiversity crisisEarth dyingEarth even hotterEarth light dimmingEarth lopsided, Earth meltingEarth morbid feverEarth on fast trackEarth past point of no returnEarth slowing down,  Earth spins faster,Earth to explode, earth upside down,  earthquakesearthquakes reduxEl Niño intensification, end of the world as we know iterosionemerging infectionsencephalitis, English villages lostequality threatenedEurope simultaneously baking and freezing,  eutrophicationevolution accelerating,expansion of university climate groupsextinctions (humancivilisation,  logicInuitsmallest butterflycod,  pikaspolar bears,   possums,  walrus,  toads,  plantssalmontrout,  wild flowerswoodlice,  a million specieshalf of all animal and plant speciesmountain species,  not polar bearsbarrier reefleachessalamanderstropical insectsexperts muzzledextreme changes to Californiafading fall foliagefainting,  famine, farmers benefitfarmers go underfarm output boost,  fashion disasterfeverfigurehead sackedfir cone bonanzafires fanned in Nepalfish biggerfish catches dropfish downsize,   fish deaf, fish get lostfish head northfish shrinking,  fish stocks at riskfish stocks declinefive million illnessesflesh eating diseaseflies on Everest,  flood patterns changefloods floods of beaches and citiesflood of migrants, flood preparation for crisisflora dispersedFlorida economic declineflowers in perilfood poisoningfood prices risefood prices soarfood security threat (SA)football team migration,   forest declineforest expansionfrog with extra headsfrostbitefrost damage increased,   fungi fruitfulfungi invasiongames changeGarden of Eden wiltsgeese decline in Hampshiregenetic diversity decline, gene pools slashedgeysers imperiled, giant icebergs (Australia)giant oysters invade,  giant pythons invadegiant squid migrategingerbread houses collapseglacial earthquakesglacial retreat,   glacier grows (California)glaciers on Snowdenglacier wrapped,global cooling glowing clouds,  golf course to drowngolf Masters wreckedgrain output drop (China)grandstandinggrasslands wettergravity shiftGreat Barrier Reef 95% deadGreat Lakes drop,  great tits copegreening of the North,  Grey whales lose weightGulf Stream failurehabitat loss,haggis threatenedHantavirus pulmonary syndrome,    harvest increaseharvest shrinkagehay fever epidemichealth affectedhealth of children harmed, health risksheart disease, heart attacks and strokes (Australia), heat waves, hibernation affected,   hibernation ends too soonhibernation ends too late,  homeless 50 millionhornets,  human development faces unprecedented reversalhuman fertility reducedhuman health riskhuman race oblivionhurricanes,  hurricane reductionhurricanes fewerhurricanes not,  hydropower problemshyperthermia deathsice ageice sheet growthice sheet shrinkage, icebergs,  illness and deathinclement weatherIndia drowninginfrastructure failure (Canada),  industry threatenedinfectious diseases,  inflation in Chinainsect explosion, insect invasioninsurance premium risesInuit displacementInuit poisonedInuit suinginvasion of alien worms, invasion of cats,  invasion of crabgrassinvasion of heronsinvasion of jellyfishinvasion of king crabsinvasion of midges island disappears,islands sinkingItaly robbed of pastaitchier poison ivyjellyfish explosionjets fall from sky,  Kew Gardens taxedkidney stoneskiller cornflakes,killing uskitten boomkoalas under threatkrill declinelake and stream productivity decline, lake emptieslake shrinking and growinglandslides,landslides of ice at 140 mphlarge trees declinelawsuits increaselawsuit successful,  lawyers' income increased (surprise surprise!),  lawyers want morelegionnaires' surge,  lives savedLoch Ness monster dead, locust plagues suppressedlush growth in rain forests,   Malaria,   mammoth dung melt,mango harvest failsMaple production advancedMaple syrup shortagemarine diseases, marine food chain decimated, Meaching (end of the world),Meat eating to stopMediterranean risesmegacryometeorsMelanomaMelanoma declinemethane emissions from plantsmethane burps, methane runawaymelting permafrostMiddle Kingdom convulsesmigration,  migratory birds huge lossesmicrobes to decompose soil carbon more rapidly,minorities hit, monkeys at risk,  monkeys on the moveMont Blanc grows, monuments imperiledmoose dying, more bad air days,   more research neededmortality increased, mountain (Everest) shrinking,  mountaineers fears,  mountains break upmountains green and flowering,   mountains taller,mortality lower Myanmar cyclonenarwhals at riskNational Parks damagedNational security implicationsnative wildlife overwhelmednatural disasters  quadruplenew islandsnext ice ageNFL threatenedNile delta damagednoctilucent cloudsno effect in IndiaNorthwest Passage opened,nuclear plants bloomoaks dying,  oaks move north,  ocean acidificationocean acidification fasterocean dead spotsocean dead zones unleashed,ocean deserts expandocean waves speed up,  Olympic Games to endopera house to be destroyedoutdoor hockey threatened,   ozone repair slowed,ozone rise,  penguin chicks frozen, penguin chicks smallerpersonal carbon rationingpest outbreakspests increasephenology shifts,  pines decline,plankton blooms,   plants lose proteinplants march northplants move uphill polar bears aggressivepolar bears deaf,  polar bears drowning,   polar tours scrappedpopcorn riseporpoise astrayprofits collapsepsychiatric illness,   puffin declinepushes poor women into prostitution, rabid bats,  radars taken outrailroad tracks deformedrainfall increaserape waverefugees,  reindeer endangeredrelease of ancient frozen virusesresorts disappearrice threatened, rice yields crash,  rift on Capitol Hillrioting and nuclear war,   river flow impactedrivers raisedroads wear outrobins rampant,   rocky peaks crack apartroof of the world a desert, rooftop barsRoss river disease,  ruins ruined,  Russia under pressuresalinity reduction,salinity increase,  Salmonella,  salmon stronger, satellites accelerateschool closuressea level risesea level rise fasterseals mating moreseismic activitysewer bills risesevere thunderstormssex change, sexual promiscuityshark attackssharks boomingsharks moving northsheep shrinkshop closuresshort-nosed dogs endangered,  shrinking pondsshrinking sheep shrinking shrineSidney Opera House wiped outski resorts threatenedslow death smaller brainssmogsnowfall decrease, snowfall increasesnowfall heavy snow thicker soaring food pricessocietal collapsesoil change,songbirds change eating habitssour grapesspace problemspectacular orchidsspiders getting biggerspiders invade Scotland,  squid largersquid population explosionsquid tamedsquirrels reproduce earlier,  stingray invasionstorms wetter,  street crime to increasesubsidencesuicideswordfish in the BalticTabasco tragedytaxestectonic plate movement,   terrorists (India)threat to peaceticks move northward (Sweden)tides risetigers eat peopletomatoes rottornado outbreaktourism increasetoxic seaweed,  trade barriers, trade winds weakenedtraffic jams,  transportation threatened,tree foliage increase (UK),   tree growth slowedtrees in troubletrees less colourful,  trees more colourfultrees lushtropics expansiontropopause raisedtruffle shortagetruffles down,  turtles crashturtle feminisedturtles lay earlierUFO sightingsUK coastal impactUK Katrina,  Vampire moths,Venice floodedviolin declinevolcanic eruptions,  walrus pups orphaned,  walrus stampede,  wars over waterwars sparkedwars threaten billions,waspswater bills doublewater scarcity (20% of increase),  waves biggerweather out of its mindweather patterns awryWestern aid cancelled outWest Nile feverwhale beachingswhales lose weightwhales move north,  wheat yields crushed in Australia,  wildfireswind shiftwind reduced,winds strongerwinds weaker,  wine - Australian bakedwine - harm to Australian industrywine industry damage (California) wine industry disaster (US) wine - more Englishwine -  England too hotwine -German boonwine - no more French  wine passé (Napa)wine - Scotland best,  wine strongerwinters in Britain colderwinter in Britain deadwitchcraft executionswolves eat more moosewolves eat less, workers laid offWorld at war,World War 4World bankruptcyWorld in crisisWorld in flamesYellow fever.
and all on 0.006 deg C per year! 

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